Want to hear a joke about construction?

How do you know a lawyer is lying?

What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?

Where do logs like to go on hikes?

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?

What did the tree say to its long-distance girlfriend?

Which actor is a pro at unclogging a drain?

Who is a carpenter's favorite singer?

What do you call it when CO2 goes out to dinner?

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Why did the octopus have to stop writing his book?

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

What building always gets stains on it?