What awards show do hot dogs never miss?

What do you say when it's raining chickens and ducks in the spring?

Why are air conditioners always out of breath when it's hot out?

Why was the fish so smart?

Which condiment adds the most kick?

What's the slowest 5k?

Why did the painting win the presidential election?

What does the librarian say when she has to leave?

Why did the mathematician decline a beer at the party?

What restaurant always wins on Jeopardy?

What did the goat, cow, duck, and pig all call each other?

Why couldn't anyone find any eggs in the Easter egg hunt?

What do you call the pig that does karate?

What's a frog's favorite sport?

What animal should you never play hide and seek with?