What's the most expensive plate in church?

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him..

What did one popsicle say to the other popsicle?

Who did the monster take to the Halloween dance?

What did the basketball player say when he lost his job?

What did the kid say when the instructor told him he'd missed school?

What's a steak's favorite shoe?

Why do dogs make great meteorologists?

Why did the dog have a bunch of dirt in its mouth?

Why couldn't the NASA scientist get a room reservation on the moon?

Why are groundhogs so grouchy?

Who is a bread-maker's favorite singer?

What do a sword and a piano have in common?

Which artist got her name for selling out arenas the quickest?

What dogs are always lying to you?