What did one oar say to another on Valentine's Day?

My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.

Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?

What did the confused bee say?

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?

Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween?

What is the ceremony called when two guitarists get married?

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?

Why did the astronaut couple break up?

What did the policeman yell to the baseball that just robbed a bank?

Why wasn't the food on the small aircraft good?

What is the first day of orientation called for locomotive conductors?

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

When is a black dog not a black dog?